Introduction
We are all born with a clean slate, unique and with our own stories and identities to unfold as we grow and experience the world. However, in this modern age, the journey towards understanding our worth can become clouded by external influences. Media bombards us with images of ‘perfection,’ peers influence our choices, absent parents leave gaps in our self-perception, and poor role models shape our behavior. Amidst these pressures, the essence of who we are can fade into the background. Yet, amidst the noise, a powerful truth forms the bedrock of our identity – the knowledge that we are, first and foremost, cherished children of God. This blog delves into the profound connection between knowing your worth, valuing your body and mind, and embracing the divine identity that empowers you to rise above the entanglements of smoking.
The good news is that you can change those beliefs and live a life of freedom and fulfillment.
Are you ready to cross the finish line?
Change your story; change your life!
Your beliefs shape your reality. If you or others speak negatively about you or your life, you will attract negative energy and face corresponding consequences. Words are extremely powerful and should be used with caution. Self-fulfilling prophesies are words spoken over a person that takes effect in their life and may cause them to give up, such as when a child doesn’t bother to learn at school.
It’s not a measure of intelligence but rather of emotional pain. Robbie Williams, the singer, broke the negative words of a school teacher who said he would never amount to anything. Listen for your own words, which may be coming through from when you were a child, for example, “I’m blo…. useless”, “I’m a loser, what’s the point?’ and “Nothing goes right for me”.
You are already blessed. Open the eyes of your heart and mind by attracting positive energy. When you and others say positive things about your life, doors will open for you. For example, “They’ll go a long way”, “I can overcome any challenge”, and “Everything works out for me”. Life is full of obstacles and challenges from which you can grow, learn, and help others. Change your mindset to see the obstacles as opportunities to change your life. Avoid people who bring you down or discourage you, especially if they are smoking and telling you you’ll fail like last time. Dream-breakers need our love but not our time.
If you are the one who sabotages your own life, stop it now! Don’t let anyone take your personal power away from you. Please don’t give it away (like you did to Big Tobacco), and use it for good, not evil. Evil doesn’t need your help!
Exercise 1. Start a handwritten Journal. Reflect on moments in your life that made you sad or angry when someone spoke prophetic words over you. Write out the feelings. Know that we are all flawed humans. We all make mistakes and hurt others. Some of us are incapable of loving properly because we have unresolved hurt. Hurt people hurt people. Journal the words that hurt you; put them in quotes. How have those words affected you? Were they true when they were said? Are they true now? Anger is never just anger.
Anger hides the pain of hopelessness, sadness, betrayal, etc. Write until you have expressed yourself and can put the feelings to bed. Sit with the emotions. Acknowledge them. Stay until they fade away, like a wave washing over you. The past is gone. We live in the present. We can only change the future, which happens today (tomorrow never comes).
Celebrate your successes
Think of everything you have done well in life. They don’t have to be about smoking; they can be anything that makes you smile, feel proud, or happy. Write them down and put them somewhere you can see them often. Celebrating will remind you how awesome you are and how much you can achieve.
Exercise 2. Journal your gratitude. Over time, you will again find enjoyment in the pleasures of life – but it will take time! Speed it up by being mindful and looking closely at the details of life. Get connected!
This earth is full of beauty and wonder. Be mindful of flowers, trees, animals, and all the beauty around you. Examine your hand, looking at its shape and lines, and feel the warmth and strength. Do the same mindfulness with buildings and design if you love architecture; find the angles and beauty in the structures.
If you love mechanics, discover the wonder of the detail of an engine. Go micro! Take nothing for granted. Your relationships have taken a backseat to smoking, and now the longer you stay quit, that will change. Start counting your blessings and journal no less than three things you are grateful for a day until you recover and thrive!
Focus on progress, not perfection
Don’t expect to be perfect or to achieve your goals overnight. Change is a gradual process that requires patience and persistence. Rather than focusing on the result, focus on your steps to get there. Create milestones and celebrate every small win as you learn to enjoy the journey process, not the destination itself, i.e., your quit date. Journal what you learn from every challenge.
Exercise 3. Use SMAART Goals: In your journal, create a few goals based on the beliefs you want to change. Goals can include changing beliefs: Quitting is too hard for me. I always fail. If I were going to be successful, I would have succeeded when…”. Please ensure they are well-defined, so you will know you have changed. SMAART Goals change limiting beliefs: SMART = Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Accountable, Relevant, and Timely. For example, I want to stop calling myself stupid whenever I do something wrong.
Specific: Stop calling myself a “stupid bitch when I make mistakes or things go wrong. “
Measurable: I will catch those thoughts or words and count them. I am tracking my progress on a log. I will immediately replace the phrase with, “That’s a lie – I am a child of the living God, perfect in His eyes. He doesn’t make mistakes” I will track my affirmations too.
Achievable: I will start by becoming aware of my self-talk by the end of week one. By the end of week three, I will stop name-calling myself. Within one month I will be my best friend!
Accountable: I will ask my stop-smoking buddy to help me track my progress.
Relevant: Ensure that the goal is relevant to your well-being and self-esteem.
Consider the impact of changing this belief on your confidence and mental health.
For instance, “Replacing negative self-talk will enhance my self-esteem and promote a healthier self-image.”
Time-bound: Within one month, I will have stopped calling myself stupid and replaced the nasty words with “I love being me!”
Practice self-compassion. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Remember that making mistakes and experiencing setbacks is a normal part of learning. Elbert Hubbard got it right when he said, “There is no failure except in no longer trying.” Without failure, we wouldn’t have KFC or electricity! Instead of being your own worst critic, be your own best friend.
Exercise 4a. Embrace Self-Care: Take some time in your journal to brainstorm delightful ways to pamper yourself as you progress towards your goals.
Exercise 4b. Visualise your bank account full: Imagine holding containers filled with different tubes for love, energy, peace, joy and self-compassion; name your unmet needs. Now write in your journal a color for each one and use it every time you do this activity. Please close your eyes and concentrate on one tube; feel the emotion as you see the colour rising to fill the tube. Deep breathe in a slow rhythmic pattern (5 seconds in and 5 seconds out).
Imagine the container filling. Repeat with the other emotions. Do this activity when you feel you need to restore self-love etc. Giving love, joy and compassion to others fills your emotional bank account. Remember, you can only give to others from a place of abundance.
Exercise 4c. The Law of the Harvest: Smoking has impacted your relationships. Your perspective can not be relied on because the addiction has been talking for you. There is a way to undo the damage and restore your self-belief and credibility. Your mission – should you accept it – is to give, not take. Give your time and energy between rest periods to your family and friends to help build your credibility with them. Do not place expectations on them. No taking. Just give! You have to sow before you reap; that’s the law of the harvest.
Plan special date nights to strengthen your relationships and create memorable outings with your kids. But most importantly, don’t forget to reconnect with your inner child and include activities that ignite your imagination and bring you pure bliss. It’s time to dream big and create a smokefree life that lights you up!
Harness the Power of Positive Self-talk .
How you talk to yourself has a powerful impact on your beliefs and emotions. Some people talk themselves to death – literally! Sadly, they never realize their potential or life’s purpose. Your mental health will improve as an ex-smoker, and you can support that improvement with good self-talk. Stinking thinking sounds like “I’m a bl.. idiot”, “I can’t do….” ‘I am sick of being the only one who can’t….”. Capture those thoughts and neutralize them. Replace them with positive words, “I am learning to…”, “I enjoy working on…”, “I love not smoking, I am achieving so much more”. Practising positive belief exercises is extremely life-changing.
Exercise 5. Affirmations: Positive words spoken by you and others into your life will help support your mental health and change your beliefs and attitudes. These may be words from the bible or quotes. Find some affirmations that work for you and journal them. Carry one of two in your wallet. Memorize one for an emergency. Here is my 911 affirmation: “If God is with me, who can stand against me.” Adapted from Romans 8 v38. I wrote the following limerick for you:
I once THOUGHT I couldn’t ACHIEVE
And that LIFE had nothing to GIVE
But I CHANGED my beLIEF
And found JOY and reLIEF
Now I KNOW I can do ANYthing
Seek Support, and You Shall Find!
Changing your beliefs takes effort and time, and it’s not a journey you should undertake alone. Loneliness and smoking can create a harmful cycle, affecting your well-being. You have begun breaking the cycle by stopping smoking, and that, dear friend, is one of the best things you will ever do for yourself. Quitting will have flow-on effects when you continue to break free and build healthy connections. Seek support from a therapist, coach, friend, or community that shares your interests or goals.
Please avoid using the help of someone who pressured you to quit, and they may be overly invested in your progress and, worst-case scenario, you may use going back to smoking to punish them if you get in a fight.
The decision to quit smoking must come from YOU and be your responsibility. Open up to your loved ones and tell them how they can help but don’t let them run the show. You’ll enhance your health, happiness, confidence, and self-esteem by receiving support. Remember, you are not alone; your unique contribution can make a difference in the world.
Exercise 6: Be someone’s miracle: There is so much need in the world today. Find someone and offer your service to them without expecting anything in return. Journal your help and how it affected the person, animal or planet.
Giving yourself unselfishly means being concerned with others and acting in ways that benefit them, even if it costs you something. It means being altruistic, selfless, and generous. Giving yourself unselfishly can benefit you and the people you help.
For example, it can improve your mental, physical and spiritual health, strengthen your emotional intelligence and so forth. The aim of this exercise, though, is to give the gift of connection, support and perhaps friendship to someone who needs you.
Please don’t make this a financial activity unless it’s the last step. Aim to make someone, an animal or the planet feel valued and cared for. Journal how you found the person you connected with and what you did to help them. Caution: if they need professional intervention, please arrange it. What were the benefits for them and you? Are there any plans in place for future contacts for them? What did you learn from the exercise?
Summary
If you have quit smoking, congratulations! You have taken a big step toward improving your health and happiness. However, quitting smoking is not just about breaking a physical addiction. It is also about changing your mindset and overcoming the limiting beliefs that may hold you back from living your best life. In this article, you will learn six essential tips to transform your limiting beliefs and boost your quitting success.
These tips are:
- Change your story; change your life: Learn how to challenge and replace the negative beliefs that make you feel hopeless or helpless about quitting smoking.
- Celebrate your successes: Learn how to acknowledge and appreciate everything you have done well in life, especially quitting smoking.
- Focus on progress, not perfection: Learn how to set realistic goals and reward yourself for every achievement rather than expecting yourself to be perfect or to quit overnight.
- Practice self-compassion: Learn how to treat yourself with kindness and understanding rather than judging yourself harshly or feeling guilty for making mistakes.
- Harness the power of positive self-talk: Learn how to use affirming and empowering words to boost your confidence and motivation rather than criticising or sabotaging yourself.
- Seek support, and you shall find: Learn how to find and connect with people who can support you on your quitting journey, as well as how to give back and help others who may be struggling.
These tips can change limiting beliefs and create a more positive and resilient mindset. You will also be able to enjoy the benefits of being smokefree, such as better health, more energy, more money, and more freedom. You will discover that quitting smoking is not only possible but also rewarding and fulfilling.
Contact Me
If you want to learn how to quit smoking successfully and permanently, you can contact me at [email protected]. I am a nurse educator in Smoking Cessation with over 20 years of experience helping people like you. I have developed my program, which I called, The Smokefree System: Taking Back Control, drawing from my own experiences as a smoker and insights shared by other smokers and the latest scientific research. The second edition of this program is about to be released soon.
You can also visit my website, challengebreaker.com, for more information and resources. I would love to hear your story and help you achieve your quitting goals. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. You have the power to change your life for the better.
By quitting smoking, you can reclaim control of your life, improve your health, and create a brighter future. Cherish the moments of growth and self-discovery along the way and know that you are capable, resilient, and deserving of a smokefree, fulfilling life. Keep going, and savour the freedom that awaits you!
Suppose you need one-to-one or group coaching, don’t hesitate to reach out to me; I am here to help.
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